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I quite like watching bad movies, as I can act like the arrogant screenwriter I am and just dissect how I would have made them better. Most failed films simply fail to connect the ideas that they want to. I can often see where the director is coming from and also where they are failing to convey their ideas. Sometimes this can be frustrating, as I can see the potential for a good movie that is just wasted on lousy dialogue and hollow fight scenes. Most of the time, the director spends so long with their project that they get mixed up between what the audience wants and what they want.

So today I am going to take three movies which I believe miss their mark and I am going to try and make a salvageable version of them. If you think that the idea is beyond hope still, or maybe you just want to tweak something, chime into the comments below. Also, if anyone likes the movies, I deem bad, I do not mean any offence. This is just a harmless analysis of where I personally believe the directors fell a little short.

3 – THE WRONG TURN

I have already reviewed Wrong Turn and how I thought it went completely wrong. However, there is a good movie in there. The idea isn’t terrible original (it’s basically an adaption of ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’), but it is fresh enough to please a wide group of fans. Hell, it does, but I reckon a few tweaks could make the movie more appealing to a more mainstream audience.

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I would actually keep the story pretty much identical. The set-up was good: six strangers get lost in the woods and stumble across the home of three disfigured cannibals. I would just change the glue that held that idea together. The script needed serious work, but with a new screen-writer, we could inject heart into the characters, make the audience care if they live or die. Maybe break up the action set pieces with quick expositional scenes, so the characters could get to know each other a little better and we, as the audience, could find out everyone’s backstory. Someone needed to kick Desmond Harrington up the ass, as he left all of his charisma at home. Chiriqui needed to dial back the screaming girl role. The Wrong Turn just needed a bit more attention given to it and we would have had a decent horror thriller on our hands.

2 – PRINCE OF PERSIA

I hate the Prince of Persia movie. I played the PS2 ‘Sands of Time’ game and the director seemed to have no idea what tone the game was going for. The game sees the Prince deliver a mysterious dagger to his father, only for the palace’s evil sorcerer to trick everyone into unleashing the deadly Sands of Time. Everyone but the Prince, the mysterious Princess Farah and the sorcerer, are turned into zombie sand creatures. The game is the Prince’s battle of survival, as he tries to stop the sands spreading across Persia. The tone wasn’t exactly Nolan dark, but compared to the film’s adaptation, it looks like Chinatown.

I would have scrapped the large scale action, trying to mimic ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ and played it small. Like the game, a Prince, alone in a dying palace, killing off sand zombies (of which the movie scrapped). I would have gambled and aimed it for an older audience, with some light horror (just enough to make it a 12A). Imagine the opening scenes of ‘Oblivion’, where we aren’t scared, but feeling the tension dripping from the scene. As long as it kept that tone, I don’t think the movie could go too wrong, as long as it kept close to the storyline of the game.

1 – ALIEN: RESSURECTION

Actually, I don’t need to do anything here. Not because the fourth Alien film was good (it really wasn’t), but because there is already a much better version waiting in the wings. It is a little known fact that Joss Whedon actually wrote the screenplay for this movie. However, as the writer has confirmed when the movie was released, his original script had been edited so much he barely recognised it, when it hit the big screen.

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You can actually read Whedon’s script here and it is a really good read. The final monster isn’t Ripley’s weird baby child, but a terrifying cross between the Alien and a giant white spider. The finale takes place on Earth, where Ripley and Call have to take down the big Alien before it reaches civilisation. There are new characters and the original ones are handled properly with some great dialogue. If I was directing the fourth alien film, I would have just let Whedon realise his vision. Then we would have had a fantastic Alien adventure and the franchise would still be intact (well, until AVP: Requiem).

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